do you have the respect?

You went to a restaurant. A servant comes to you and ask you nicely what would you like to order. You give your order and all. Your food came after half hour waiting and you started to complain. You even gave the stare to the servant that is delivering your orders. They apologize for the late coming. but then again you complain and you avoid for coming back to the restaurant and decided not to give them the extra tips. Do you think that is a wise thing to do?

I am sorry after i think and think about it i have to say that is a bad thing to do. do you think that being a chef and a waiter is easy? do you think that they do it on purpose? Do you think that because you have the money and you pay for the food you can act like that? it is not like they throw the food on top of the table. 

what is the different with you buying all the ingredients and you waited for your friend to cook from scratch and it needs 2 hours to cook. are you gonna give them the stare too? it is the food that you pay and someone else cooks for you and serve it for you so what is the difference? are you gonna complain too? just because the waiter or chef is not your friend are you gonna treat them as they are not human beings that tried to make you happy? 

Sometimes being a nice person is not enough. Sometimes being a patient person is not enough. Sometimes being a smart person is not enough. Sometimes being a rich person is not enough.

Life. Being patient is not enough when there is no one that supports your back as you are supporting people around you. Being nice is not enough when there is no one that appreciates such nice things you have done for them. Being smart is not enough when people don’t appreciate what you have invented, nor the information you gave others. Being smart is not enough when people ask you and you act like you knew everything and you see people, as they are so stupid and low cause they just don’t know what you know. Being a rich person is not enough when you cannot spend your money for the people who needs it and for those people actually support you and you see them for granted. Most people are blind for what other people have done for them, especially those that are not your family members. Sometimes we see things that are far than the ones that are right in front of your nose.

Are you those people? Do you feel like you are forgetting some people in your life that is being nice to you and you treat them for granted? Do you feel like you are one of those success people, smart and all and you see other people that is close to you for granted?

THE FIRST LADY

Almost a month ago my friend was in an interview, when one of the interviewers asked her if you would have a dinner later today in a fancy restaurant, whom would you like to have dinner with?

Who will be your answer? Whose name you would say? Who will be the first person cross your mind?

There are many question in the world that have to do with who/whom that you think or feel give effects to your life.

Another example of questions; If you would ask me who do you want to be or even the question who you adore the most, I will answer in the matter of second, MY MOM.

My mom may not be a sexy actress, or any famous people that change or have an effect to the world and the human being that live in it.  

But, she did raise two of the world citizen that will grow and turn to be someone. There is no trophies back at home that stated she is the best mom in the world that made a change. But, she is the best mom and made changes in my world. 

She is the one I can depend on anytime in my life for more than 20 years of my life, even I am million miles away from her. She is the lady who made my world spins when it stops.

She listen and help me solve my problems, she made arguments that slaps your face, which when you heard it you just break down and cry and made you realize that life is not just that. She is the lady that support me that teach me that you don’t have to change the world by doing something big, you can even change anything with something simple, small or even a smile. She is the lady that made jokes and make you smile when you frown. Everyone is proud and loves his or her mother that is for sure.

 But, if you ask me again:

Who do I want to be, who do I love the most and who I adore the most? My answer is I want to be my mother; I love and adore her the most. She may not be the first lady in any country, but she is the first lady in my heart.

Journey from 3 to 2..

This story is about 3 girls who grew up together. They were cousins, they were sisters, and they were best friends. Those three girls are Riana Yulianti, Nina A. Anissa and Amanta Shakina. They were really close. As cousins they were not that different in age. Riana the oldest among the 3 was born in 1983 as for Nina and Amanta they were born in 1984. They always go everywhere together every time they could; they share stories, games, gossip, love, hug and tears with each other. Even the whole family was aware of their closeness and it was proved by their grandmother always made them 3 same dresses when they were kids.

Riana Yulianti, She love cats. She lives not far from Amanta house. She was a strong girl, she was wise, and she was brave. She was caring, she was fun, and she was funny. She had many colors in life and she shares those colors of her to everyone’s that are around her, close to her.

Nina, she love to play softball and she is good at it. She grew up in Jakarta and then she move to Bandung when she got into college. She is the tomboy and sporty when they were young. She is the independent one. She is the one that is patient. She loves to draw, she is the creative one.  She is the sweet one, she is the one that gave comfort.

The youngest one was Amanta and that is me. 

This short story is about us, where our life of sisterhood dramatically change. This is the story where 3 could change into 2.

As we grew older, we started to build our own lives. But somehow, we always tried to spare a day or two or anytime we could, just to share what we had done, what we had experience. Stories about clothes, cartoons and games turns to young girls gossip about friends and boys.

One night when I was in High school, the phone at my house started to rang. A dark cloud filled my night as my aunt on the other side of the line told me that my cousin, Riana had an accident and she was laying unconscious in the hospital. Time passes by and she was ok. She went home and tried to live her life as normal as she could. Somehow her body turns weak. She got easily ill most of her times. Until almost a year ago my mom told me that she was laying again unconscious in the hospital. I believed she is a strong girl, which hopes she will be Ok and she was.

I went back to Indonesia in November 2007 for 2 weeks. The 3 of us were reunited for a short time; It was one lovely evening on 17^th of November 2007. It was fun. We met again after 1 whole year living in different continents and usually  shared our stories through e-mails. By that night  it was face to face, it was lovely. Never thought that night was the last night we laugh with each other.

I had to leave for Holland again after those 2 short weeks. Times flies, we haven’t spoken with each other since that November night. It was cold January. The time showed 4 A.M in Holland when I was half asleep and my cell phone started to ring.  As I said hello, it was my mother on the other side of the line. It was a blackout, it was a pause and it was an unbelievable sentence as I heard my mom share me words by words, my dear Riana, my dear sister has passed away.

My tears started to fall as I was pulling my self out of the shock and tried to ask my mom again and again for what she had said was true. My mom was assuring me again and again with patient leading me to face the reality. As I hung up the phone, all I can do was cry. I felt crushed and lonely. Suddenly it felt like oxygen was a rare thing. I feel sad that I was not there beside her, holding her hands and tell her that everything will be fine as she was fighting for her life. Sadly I was not there beside her as she left. Sadly I was not there with my family and sadly I was not there to see her for one last time. She had left.

My mind started to fly far to the past. The whole family trips, the laughter, the stories, the pranks, The fight, the arguments, the jokes, the games, the love, the tears, the hug, the memories and all the sisterhood treasure that we have.

It had been months since she passed away. It had been months since I want to write this story in words. But I never had the strength to type this story; I never have the strength to hold my tears when I see our pictures together. The sadness still chocked me. But it couldn't be ignored, it has to be faced. She was young and she is not around. Apparently age couldn't be hold as a guarantee in live. I never could believe that someone close to me could leave the earth in such a young age. I always believe that god will give me many chances to be with my cousins, brothers and sisters. But apparently it is something I should face. It is one from all of my greatest fear.

Until now, sometimes I still couldn't believe that 3 for 23 years all of the sudden turned into 2. But, sometimes you have to learn to let go for we know and hope that this is for the best.

 

Goodbye our beloved sister, you will always be love and miss. For we will always pray that you have the best place in heaven.

Back For My Luggage

Did you ever wonder how much you could remember from the past? Did you ever analyze how you travel from the past, wondering in the present and how will you arrive to the future? How detail did you remember from the past? Even if you keep track and create every milestones of your life in your diary there’s no guarantee that every minute, every second of your life is listed. Yeah I did wonder about it. Who I am now, who I use to be, how I use to think, how I use to see certain issues and what would I decide by that time, will I decide the same thing like today. Where would I be and who I will be in the future? Two days ago I stared at the sky. We were enjoying warm drinks by that time, reducing the cold we have brought in to the room. I was with my friends in the Eerste café at central station, Amsterdam. That day was the day when we signed the contract for our future temporary home. Yeah, we got it baby!.. Well anyways, we got into the café and it was raining outside. Shower rain. Heavy shower. The sky turns dark. If I’m not mistaken, it was only 4.30 P.M. I can’t blame the sky for the season decided to change. I guess it was time for the change. I welcome winter with smile and make sure that I didn’t frown. Then after quite some times, the waiters were chatting next to us. One of them point at the window right next to me and the other one instantly stared. As he stared I decided to follow. As I see far outside, there was ray of light through the sky curtain of gray clouds. The beautiful sunset ray found its way to shine this part of the earth. I didn’t notice when did the rain stops pouring. But still, the sun seems to found its way to say goodnight, which signing its task for that day was done. Somehow it hurts to see the sun go, even though I know I’ll meet the sun again. Occupied by the sun, not realizing that a plane passing by. The minute I saw the plane, my imagination went with it. I remember “my coffee”, and it reminds me of his dad. Funny how it seems, but it’s entirely true. As the plane flew through the dark clouds, I said to my friends, “ I bet that plane is having a turbulence coz it is flying through thick, dark clouds” and afterwards I said to myself, in a minute the rain will fall again. The dark clouds are here in this part of the earth. I know when I was a kid, I did thought that thunder is a sign that god is angry. I tried to remember of my childhood, did I ever think that rain were tears of the sky, coz maybe we made them sad. But that day I did fell sad. It seems the sky was reflecting what I felt at that time. As I followed the plane with my eyes, seems it flew to the end of the world, in life journey I wonder could we fly back to the past? Of course no will be the answer. But still, life is a journey. We pack stuffs to bring with us. Some we left it at home, some new thing we bring to the next destination. That’s just the way on how you prepare your trip. I know I keep repeating that. I remember my last journey. Departure Indonesia. Arrival Holland. I’ve been back in Holland for 2 weeks now. However, 2 week ago as my trip continued on a plane, as my life continued as well. 16 hours journey on the plane was right in front of me, I’m starting my life journey in the plane. The life in the plane was bitter sweet, in its own ways. People greet each other as they notice they came from the same country. I could hear clearly “The Dutch men” greet and share their “wine” of experience to one another, the bitter the sweet. The “1st stewardess” you meet greets you. The “2nd stewardess” helps you to your seat and store your “luggage” in the upper compartment. She just helped you to restore it for the short life journey in the plane. The “3rd stewardess” makes sure that you are comfortable, answer to your questions, and make sure you are safe and prepared. The next “the head of stewardess” greets you, she thought you what you need to know in the journey. From the knowledge you need, informing you, guiding you, explaining to you, until taking care you. The next thing you know, you saw the sign. You learn. You have to put your seat belts on and after a while the plane started to move. The “captain” checked the flaps, checked the brake, the engine and so on. The captain introduces him self, he explains to you, he informs you, he make sure and checked. He controls the journey. The next thing you know he said it’s time to leave. And we are off. As we left the runway, my heart ache, it seems I left my “luggage” back at home. I couldn’t go back and bring it with me. Not for now, not for quite sometime. I just stare as the city fades away behind the clouds. Turbulence. That’s what I met. But after that it was a clear blue sky, steady flight. I throw my sight as far as I can see. Just clear blue sky. I see the soft, wavy clouds beneath me. It’s white like I used to draw it looks comfortable and warm. I wonder how something seems so soft could cause so much turbulence. It gave the rumbles. Time passed by I saw the sunset in front of my eyes. The sun is saying goodbye. I know I’ll see it again. But somehow I am not sure that the moon and the stars will shine on me that night cause I know I left my “luggage”. I know it is filled with my precious things. My heart felt empty without it and my heart felt heavy at the same time. I felt sad. My “luggage”. My mom and my brother. I missed them. Yes, they are the luggage I can’t bring. I told “my coffee”. He said I’d be ok. I ask my self, would something change from the” luggage”? Will everything be the same when I return? I know there have been many changes. I know there’s a possibility for it. Even the sunny day change to a dark night. “My coffee” holds my hand and I was floating. I float as the plane flew. I close the shades of my plane window, I felt safe. Hours passed by. I open the shades of my plane window. I throw my sight as far as I can see. It was dark out, but there are some things that sparkled. It’s not the rain. It was the stars. It was glittering on the dark sky. I couldn’t remember when was the last time I saw that many stars in the sky. I couldn’t remember how beautiful a night sky could be. Probably that is one of the missing memories. Anyways, the stars were uncountable. It was beautiful. Apparently stars did shine on me that night but then, turbulence greets me afterwards, few more for the rest of the journey. Some just “greets” for a while and some did “stay for a chat”. It really did stay for a while. I try not to be bothered and enjoy the rest of the journey. Once and a while I hold “my coffee” for comfort, try not to bother his rest. It was the time to land. Return to the ground. I haven’ t miss the ground yet. But the journey has to end. Well the “captain” said so. The stars left, but somehow the sun hasn’t come. But I don’t mind, I know I’ll meet the sun again. After I landed, a new journey starts on its own. No “stewardess” or “captains”. But, I met my friends, the “luggage” that I left in Holland. It was sweet of them to come. I now they’ll leave sometime after. But, then again I know I’ll meet them again. I drag my luggage with me and try not to cry for missing the “luggage” back home. That was my sky journey. That was part of my life. I know it is over, for now. But I know I’ll be return way up there again someday. I know some pieces of my past is missing, but it’s ok I kept the precious ones in mind. I’ll get the rest when I come back. I’m living in this moment. I’m living in my seconds. Don’t worry I already plan my next destination. Wish me luck for it. As I stroll with my luggage in one hand, holding “my coffee” in the other, and I strolled my way to my flat. Back for my “luggage” here in Holland and try to find some more new “luggage” for me to keep.