If in the past people write letters for their someone special, have a pigeon to sent the letter with no guarantee that the mail will reach its destination, then we are the lucky generations. We have Internet to do the trick, webcams, we have tracker for packages, we have phones, we have SMS and now we have BBM. See so many alternatives to reach your love ones. Yes, Sometimes we feel it’s more sentimental, more honest, more special to write the words on how precious he or she is and what you actually hope for or even feel and be sure they receive the little pieces of your heart you just send, Instead of saying it out loud. Just a private message for the him or her.
There is also a time where you just want to have, the chance and courage to tell your deepest feeling but you just don’t have the strength or unsure if it is the right thing to do. Sometimes you want to open the content of your heart to that special one. Yes honesty regarding love is hard. In the old days those messages was hidden in a diary or even ones heart instead of being revealed, exposed to the person. But now it is amazingly out in the open or at least we have an alternative to do so, a tool to be honest.
Hmm diary, a rectangular thing with pages and pages of how you feel, that rectangular shape thing with pages is known as a book. The valuable diary is a bowl to pour your solitude, gratitude, and the memory of each of your days. Where words by words are more personal, where you pour all your heart into it through your hands that moves without you thinking of what you’re going to write just keep on writing what you actually feel. Freedom. Liberty for the heart and mind to reveal its deepest secrets, regrets, love stories, your thoughts, your stupidity. Place where the secret is sacred and safe. A bowl where you don't have to filter on what you write. You just write and write and write some more. It’s a copy of your heart and mind, it could be a crime scene where the battle of the heart and mind is exposed and saved for future records. You expose the names, the time, the concrete stories, the feeling and detailed stories as far as you can remember. You wrote how you feel just how you feel in that book even the most stupid thoughts and wishes you have in the back of your mind. One of the mediums to write without fear of people will know, judge, debate or even gossip about what ever you think, want and feel. The book of anger, love, hate, joy, and even sadness. The secret of ones heart. The secret book that some even brings it to where ever they went and guards them with their life for it is a copy of ones heart and mind.
As time went by people fears towards revealing their life is getting less and less. They start to ignore what people actually think or how will people feel after reading the short version of your day. This is where the diary evolves into a blog and now there is also twitter where it is basically your journal or diary of thoughts, information, feelings all mash up in 3 sentences or sometimes even only a word. A pure shout of help, joy, tear or even breakdowns hoping that someone will come to congrats, support, notice or even sending a hug through words to calm oneself down.
Well well well the world did change. To be honest I still kept my personal diary back at home, sometimes it travels with me to where ever I go, in case I have the mood to write. Yes that book is precious and personal. It still is and it will always be. A symbol of my true love towards myself that I guard as best as I can. I still wrote on it whenever I couldn’t even hold my stories or feelings back. A book where I pour my pain or gratitude. An alternative friends when everything seems to choke, or I'm feeling to confused to detect what it is the "lump" in my heart telling me and there is no one, no place to go. A medium where I tell the truth. A medium that contains my confessions and my honesty. It is a book that only certain people in my life, the ones that I thought have the right to even touch the book will be able to read my days. Yes there is only one person in this world who has the key to my personal diary. One person only holds the key to my heart. Even my mother doesn’t have that kind of honor.
As the world evolves, here I start to write on my blog as well. It is a filtered version of my diary that contains my secret messages to certain someone, or to life or even to the readers. I doubt people could understand my blog though. Blog is actually made for people to tell general stories, information, jokes, stories where the readers could actually relate. Mine? Nope it is not something that is easy for people to relate to. For those who don’t know me, my blog is something they wouldn’t understand. Sometimes I even notice that people actually never really follow my stories. They couldn't even finish reading one. I don’t mind. My blog is the filtered version of my diary. My blog is my secret temple where people could come to know me and try to understand. If not I hoped at least certain people could.
My blog is my secrets, my feelings that I turn into stories, hid several hidden messages to secret someone. My blog contain my way of saying, my way of telling stories. My blog is me. My personalities. My blog is the messenger of my secrets. The things that I want that secret someone to know, to wonder, to question, to think, to know me, reveal my heart, a tool for me to share my days whenever that certain someone is not there around me. It is my way to hope I could reach or to share the tale to the star of my stories.
Actually I don’t have any purpose or exact point when I wrote this story but then I started to wonder, If my blog is my messenger to send my heart to certain someone, how do I actually know if he will ever understand or even receive the tiny bits of my heart right? How do I make sure my messages comes across safely and that he or she actually notices them?
