Daddy little girl

Somewhere in this night I had a dream. I dream about my dad. As I sat and start to type, I sail to some part of my childhood memories. On every memory stone I step my tears falls. I miss my daddy.

I remember how he force me to jump into the water since I’m so afraid to learn how to swim, I remember how we use to sit on the couch in front of our TV and just sit there in silence enjoy each other companies. I miss watching him switch off my bedroom light at night. I miss pretending to sleep so he will carry me to my room. I miss every single little thing that he used to do. I know I’m a big girl now and it is time for me to stand on my own. Bottom line, I used to be really close with my father. For some reason, for some tragedy, a distance started to grow between us. I won’t lie; sometimes I even try to avoid him. But, being far a way from home and having less time to spend with my family make me think, how precious family could be.

I realize I have been far away from home for quite some time now. Well actually long enough than I could expect. Never thought I will succeed to be far away from home this long. Frankly these 2 1/2 years, sails by so fast that I felt like I barely sailed in it. I do have some jealousy to some of my friends that are so lucky to be very close with their father and still till now. I started to glaze to my past as I remembered I was my daddy spoiled little girl. What did happen till it turns to this dry bond? Well the reason is something I could not reveal. Anyways, since that point of turn, our distance are getting wider and wider. We are getting far away from each other.

I may come home for holidays. I still have the tight bond with my mother and little brother. However, it seems my “father and daughter” bond has loosen that it is so hard to tighten. We barely talk, we barely meet, we just talk as short as possible, sometimes it always result an argument, we never catch up like we used to. And to be honest it breaks my heart. It feels empty for so long. Never thought that the bond we used to have, just disappeared into thin air.

In this minute I wonder, what can a daughter in a far away land to build a bridge on the gap with a father that lives miles and miles away? Where should I start? How can I make him be part of my life like he used to be?I miss him.

Every time I looked at him. It seems I have the body but I don’t have the attention. I do hear his voice but I don’t feel the warmth. I miss him laughing in the conversation we are having. I miss him yelling at me and it made me cry in the middle of the night. I miss him freaked me at night, coz I heared his footsteps to my room while I sneaked for a cigarette. I know I had been a bad daughter, but my love for him is true.

He may be hard as a rock, his care may for certain something, his attention may for someone else, but I do learn many things from him. He is my dear daddy. He is one of those people who made me a girl I am now. He is this man in my live that teach me how to be strong. He taught me to stand on my own. He is a man that taught me dignity as a person; try to be appreciated by every people in my life. He is the man that used to remind me to smile in every obstacle in life and learn from it. He may make a big mistake but deep down I couldn’t deny the anger that I have could be beaten by the love I have. Coz I know deep down inside him, every single of mistake that I make I’m always my daddy little girl.

This blog may be vague to some. For some people who know how my life flow should know what I meant in every single word that I scratch in this page. All that I want to say is, I miss him. I know I can just pick up the phone and start to dial. But, I am wishing I will be able to bring the bond back. I know I could. I know I will, coz I’m still and always be my daddy little girl.

“The Boots”..yap that type!

Bloggy bloggy..how I miss to babble.. ha ha ha

Anyways life is life. Mine somehow still sinking all the way to the bottom, still trying to swim to the surface any day now. Waiting until I have the strength to come out and inhale the lovely fresh air. Keeping my heads up and a clear mind. Storm will pass I know it will. After I say goodbye to my summer I’m waiting for my autumn to pass me by and say welcome to my winter. Hope this winter will bring me a white and clean start. Hope it will be as white as the snow.

Anyways, enough with the stupid babble and it’s time for my story. I fell in love with “The Boots”..yap that type!..ha ha ha.. For people who are aware with my name on my MSN. Here is the explanation. I fell in love with the classic tall uggs. I love classic and simple style. They never die, well that’s my opinion. It always make a come back.

Tips: keep your basic things, you’ll need it.

I fell in love with the boots since my first year here in Holland. What do I love from it? It is simple, it is comfortable, and it will make me warm. We have the right connection and right sentiment. It is the right type! But then I started to wonder, could it be the same in searching for the right pair in life?

We should have seen relationship as simple as possible, which actually it is complicated as it can be. If you have too many points to be covered how far could you go with it? We gotta take our standard down a notch. For me, that’s what I’m trying to do. Screw the stupid line I want a guy like this and that. For me, as long I’m comfortable and we have the right sentiment then that is the guy. Now I laid my eyes to one boots and I like to keep it that way. And that is what I have to one certain someone.

I have been patient for one type of boots for three years and I have been patient for a certain someone for cannot be describe how long.

I started to ask myself, will I have “the boots”, the pair that I want?.. Does “the boots” want to be owned by me?..

I hope soo…=)

BABYHOOD!

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG BLOG, PREPARE SOME CHIPS AND DRINKS WHILE YOU READ THROUGH IT!

I chat with Kemal yesterday. One of his friends has a baby. CONGRATULATIONS! Anyways, he sends me the pictures. You wont believe how beautiful she is. This "little human version" that comes out from a woman body after more or less 9 months old. I can’t imagine how they feel the first time they saw their baby. I can’t imagine how grateful and happy they could be. After I chat I started to remember, there is this phrase in Indonesia that says parents love to their children is indescribable, unlimited, uncountable and it never runs dry nor stop. The love will pour and pour in every of our days. how come?

It is amazing, even as naughty as we could be, as we act rebellion to all their rules, they keep loving us. We did and do things that they expect us not to do, after all the stupid things we do they still could love us pure and true. If that happens in dating that will be the day we broke up. I believe parent’s love to their children is the purest love you can find. We could say that they are sooooo annoying with all their complains to us, but that is just a prove of love. But then I started to wonder, how does my parents feel the day they know they will have a child of their own? How they feel afterwards? What is the story behind Amanta?

I decided to ask my dad instead. I know he wouldn’t sugar coated things or dramatized the story. I am my parent first-born child. They had to wait for 7 years till god trust me to my beloved parent. They keep trying to be pregnant for 5 years till one day they started to think; if god will trust us with a baby, we will have one (at least) someday. I am a Muslim. Somehow this is just a story how my Muslim parent see this thing. We as a Muslim believes that a child is something that god ask and trust us to care, to protect, to love, and to raise. We don’t own that child 100%, coz in anyways the child is god to own. Unbelievable, they decided not to go to the doctor for a fertility test. They want to avoid the fight that could happen, in other words will be blaming each other. Well they just pray that maybe god will trust them with a child. They just leave it to FAITH.

Till one day, my dad feels that there was something weird from my mom (no need the details right?). He asked her to go to the doctor. She went. She’s pregnant. I was 3 months old when they knew. In Indonesia by that time, there is no such the USG technology. So they couldn’t know what is my gender. My dad asked the doctor. The doctor predicts that I am a boy coz of my strong and healthy heartbeat. Unbelievable! He thought I was a boy! I guess doctors could be wrong.

Five almost 6 months later, it was time for me to get out from my moms belly (I did wonder how it feels in there..hehehe). In the 80’s and before that time, in Indonesia fathers are not allowed to be in the delivery room (I don’t know how it goes in your country). That is why my dad had to wait outside. All he can hear was my mom screaming in pain, and after a while he could hear me cry. That was Sunday, 30 September 1984. The next thing my dad hears the nurse told my mom, “congratulation, your baby is pretty”. My dad started to think; pretty? if the baby is pretty I don’t think the baby is a boy. So yeah here I am in this world. I was a baby girl named Amanta Shakina that comes after 7 years of my parent’s pray, they wish and they wait patiently. I can feel tears started to fall on my face as my dad told me the story.

I ask him how did it felt? You can tell different things about feelings. But the only thing he said that what I should know is how thankful they are finally trusted to have a child. He told me how thankful he is to have my little brother and me. I guess he just can’t describe how it feels. But, by that time all I can feel is the love that I get and still getting from my parent, while my dad gave me all the parts of my start, my babyhood in the world.

I never knew my stories. I should be honest, that we (as one family) never have a chance to sit down and talk. I do want to know when did I start to crawl and pull things? What was my first word? How do they see me now? Are they proud of me? There are many questions I want to ask but I guess I’ll keep it till I go back to my lovely country.

I can’t lie sometimes I did complain that I felt they don’t love me, that they love my brother more or what so ever that I said when I was a little girl. But now I see it in a different way, they just couldn’t show their love in a way I expected but it doesn’t mean they stop loving me or don’t love me. All I could say; my brother and I are lucky to be love by them. And i hope after you read this you'll show more appreciation to your parents. Knowing they love you more than you know. Whether you're near or far.

Rebound Crush!

I know! It has been a long time since the last time I wrote for this blog. Yeah, no new stories that I could turn into a blog or I might say, too complicated to become a blog. Now I’m in my friends’ room. I checked my mail. Happy I am to read a message from one of my dear friend. I guess you’ll be aware to the photographer dude. From the story he up dated me, it made me think, Is it normal to have a rebound crush?

It is obvious when you are breaking up with someone there should be certain percentages that it turns out you’ll need someone next to you. You need someone to ease the crazy pain. The person could be your friends, a family, or just someone randomly that happens to be in the right place in just the right time. But then from that situation, could you predict how it will turned out from the rebound game?

Imagine you use to have a cup poured and filled by love. It is being filled for a while until the love spills out from the cup. Then one crazy day, it stops pouring. Then the love in the cup runs dry. Panic comes. What happens after that? That’s when most people do; they tried to find a distraction. It’s a total different thing then moving on. However, it is one of the stone you sometimes have to step to move on. Could I say it’s a crime? Well to be honest I can’t.

Now if one of the person in the rebound game started to have a different feelings and hoping that the situation could change to a real “love me love you” situation, I might suggested: DON'T! Why?

As I said, the person that started the rebound game just needed someone to calm the situation, a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry. I could say it is sort of a shock therapy. If you change that situation and take it to a “different road” do you really think it will work?

Well everything could happen that’s true. It’s not a crime to hope. But if you decided to go on that road, then prepare your self for the worst. When he/she moved on so you have to hold the umbrella for your rainy day. It'll hurt! But then yeah you know what the worst scene that could happen from the start. But then what happen if you went a step further, you wonder what is his/her feeling after a while you’ve been holding their hands? Now take the worst scene. What happen if he/she leaves without a 1-week notice afer you wonder?

Sorry dear buddy, if he/she leaves without any notice, I guess you can figure out by yourself what is the answer. You may have an opinion that maybe they’re just not ready for a new relationship kind of thing. But I suggested don’t even go to that place. If they do have a feeling for you they’ll let you know black and white. I like you but I’m not ready sentenced should be delivered to you in any time. They wouldn’t let you slip away. Well that’s the theory I got. there should be certain points to be concidered in the real life. But then I wonder do people now have the guts to book their next date or they will just let love slips away coz they're not sure or scared? Special message for my far away friend: You are right, see her as one of the great thing that is part of your life. But don’t stay in that hole too long. Pull your self-together, pack your bags and continue your journey. She might be not the lady to walk with you. She is just not your missing piece. You might need to wait for the right one to come. You might ask your self where is your piece? She is close by! 2 pieces that should be together wouldn’t be too far away from each other. They always find their way to be together. Whether it is planed or even by accident. Life is a ball of miracle, you'll never know what or who will be waiting just around the corner.

Drop of Pain

Is there any pure happiness? Would you/did you ever feel completely happy if/when you see your special someone smiles next to someone else instead of you? You may feel happy for your special one, if they are happy. But inside those happiness that you feel, there should be a wound, a Drop of pain that can’t be heal. at least we try..

Could we let our love one completely free? maybe never, maybe someday, or maybe we did...

Eye message

I was planning to clean my room, but somehow my laziness struck me. What can I say; on my free day I prefer being lazy. Anyways, a song with the title “Love moves in mysterious ways” was playing from my laptop. It made me think, does love really moves in mysterious ways?

We may think that we can control how love happens. We see a guy/girl that we like and we make a move. In a way we never really thought, where did that feeling of like comes from? How come we saw each other at that moment? Why not when you are in the age of 10 instead of 20? Why him/her not the other guy/girl that is in the same room with you that moment? I never could answer that. Somehow you feel that you found a bridge that shows your way to that person.

Now imagine you are in an open space. For example, in a garden party, Somehow with all the people there your eye is tied with one person only. Then automatically your eyes search for him/her, if suddenly in 1 point he/she went out of your sight. You just have this radar that work to spot him/her in just the count of seconds. Is that one more thing about move in mysterious ways? It is weird. If the eye contact that was made happens many times and a smile happens to be in 1 cute package with it will that make a different meaning? But somehow I couldn’t help but wonder, when 2 people eyes meets, does that explain something or is it just a coincidence that it doesn’t mean a thing? If there is a message behind it, will it be passed perfectly just by eye contacts? Could an eye contact be a message messenger?

Forgive then Forget

It is sugar feast for every Muslim in the world… So in that case will like to say happy sugar feast. Minal aidin wal faidzin everybody..

It's 5 A.M and i'm awake. WoooHHooo.. Not a normal thing to happen and to do for a lazy girl name Chakee. However, while I’m hoping for my friends to open their eyes and take their lazy ass to the shower, I am actually waiting for the water to boil (for my morning coffee). As I throw my sight to the dark dawn sky, I started to wonder Could we easily forgive?

There are many things that we ask and give for an apology in this world. There are lies; there are mistakes, bad attitudes and so on that we want to clear the air from. Since it could be a weeklong discussion for all of those points, I’m going to make this short. So I’ll narrow it down and talk about one of the things we most likely do. Lie! Many people lie. We make a mistake then we lie, we are hiding something then we lie, we feel bad then we lie and all other reasons that bring us to the “Lie Land”. Nevertheless, there are many ways to get there. There are small lies, big lies. There are white lies, black lies. There are lies with plans and lies in the last minute. Any kind of lies you want to list. In the theory of forgiveness it stated that we could forgive or accept someone apology for his or her lies, as long the address for the “lie package” are right (by that sentence I mean the reasons). But Does that rule could be easily use to all lies we made in practice?

What happen if you lie to yourself about your feeling? In short (in my opinion) it is known as denial. Lets take a case, If you like someone that actually not available (other word is not single), you lie to him/her about your feelings since you don’t want him/her to be “cornered” by your feelings. In this case, you lied maybe with a reason that you want him/her finish his/her “things” with his/her present partner and deal with you later. Is that lying acceptable? You lie to your self. Are you capable to forgive yourself lying to your own heart?

Somehow you try to save your feeling for not confusing him/her. You act like you could deal with it and postpone all the feelings for him/her. How long you could gamble for something that you don’t even know what will happen to you in the future? While your feelings in stake and you hold it all for his/her advantage, could that be called a white lie? But then I remember when you start a lie; another lie will come and follow. While you hold your feelings and made another lie to yourself that everything will be ok, or I can wait don’t you worry lie (for example), could you actually handle it all? And in for that matter somehow you hurt yourself in one way, could you forgive then forget a lie you make to yourself?

I guess it couldn’t be forgotten. Anyways every mistake that you made will leave a hole in your heart or someone else’s heart. A mark that is hard to be erased. When you are alone at night you feel the pain that no one could heal. There should be a time that those mistakes flash back into our mind, it could be an accident or in a certain purpose brought it up to the surface. While the person you are waiting enjoying each minute of his/her feeling with the other person, (for the case above) I suggest for you to stop lying about your feelings in the sake of someone else happiness, which he/she didn’t even care about yours.

SPECIAL BLOG DELIVERY FOR: MY LITTLE BROTHER..

Deal and Decide

I was chatting with my brother this afternoon. He was babbling about his love life. It has been a while since the last time we up date each other. I was reading my little brother story. He was telling how sad he is waiting for his lady to stop playing around. Somehow that gal still fooling around with other boys, in the same time she promise my brother that she is coming back with him. It doesn't really matter about the details. Main point is that I started to realize how come the problem that his facing is almost the same as mine?

I believe that everybody have the same main line in life. We are expected to deal and learn for the same messages in life. However, the problem may happen in a different ways and in different time. But as I said it should have the same main message to be learn. Another point that we should remember is that we have our own way to deal with those problems. Then I started to wonder how actually we could deal with it? Does this modern life have its own effect on how we deal with our love life?

People sometimes act so desperate when it deals with love. Especially with all the pressure from this modern life and lifestyle, love life started to turn somewhat depressing as well. Most people still have the patience to believe that every “Adam” could find their “Eve” or the other way around. You started to mess up your life and somehow that show your desperate situation. Are we in a denial that we actually do hope for someone? Your friends try to find a solution to your pain or you started to make your self busy to deny the need of someone next to you. By the end of the day you realize even more, that no one special is next to you. You don’t really have someone walk with you hand in hand through all of your pain. I ask my self again, do I really need someone else next to me? Is it that hard to be single?

I use to be the girl that deals with all the balls that are juggling in my life by sitting still. I try to catch it one by one in silent. As I grow older by time. I change the way I view and solve it all. I ask people to juggle with me and help me clean the mess I am in. I started to catch more than one ball in one time. I lost my way to solve my problems. I ask them for advices, I ask people for comfort and all. Then I started to think, do we really need somebody when maybe you can fill that somebody place by yourself?

The answer is always in you. Someone else in your life could be the ornament for a Christmas tree. The ornaments may make the tree looks beautiful. Even without it, the tree shows the same feeling for people who looks at it. It is still a beautiful tree for Christmas, but it wouldn’t be perfect. Then I started to wonder, is that one of the way we deal with life?

I notice there are many ways to deal with life. As I always said the decision will be ours to decide. We learn to make a decision since we are young. There are many decisions we did take and we will take. As we grow older the decision demands a full focus before it take place. We may need some inputs to find the right decision. There should be a risk to be face afterwards, a sacrifice, and strength to take that decision. However I started to wonder how long and strong a person could stand for their Deal and Decision?

Silence as Romance

I wish that someone were here next to me. It is cold outside and I wished someone were hugging me through the night. Well I can use the thing that someone invented, which we call a blanket. But wouldn’t it be nicer if your love one were hugging you? Sometime I feel sad that the one I care about is miles away from me. Distance is bugging me. But what can i say. Thank god we are not in different continent at least. But somehow it’s funny; when he is next to me sometimes I turn to this speech less woman. I can’t say a word to him. Every single word just stuck in my throat. Then I couldn’t help but wonder, is there any easy way to communicate?

It happens when you are nervous or maybe you are too scared to tell. There are many reasons for you to become a speech less person. You want to tell how you feel in words instead of an action to prove. But somehow the words just don’t come out. What would you do by that time?

It happened once. Someone that I care was next to me. I was crying. We talked about our situation. We shared what had happen when we are far away from each other. We had a sad moment (I will say) before that. Well obviously since I was crying. Anyways, I can’t say a word. There many questions i want to ask and many things i want him to know. I want to say to him how much I care for him, how much I don’t want him to go, How much I don’t want to loose him. I want to say how much he means to me. Well my tears showed the feeling. But only god knows what he was thinking while I was crying. There should be some mix messages inside that brain. And then some songs played in the background. My laptop was on and it plays all of these music’s. Somehow lucky me it’s the play list that I made for him, which some of the songs was our song. He notices. He ended up sitting close to me hug me tight. It feels comfortable and warm. He turns my tears into a smile. I remember that he asked me, “Are songs somehow change to your way to communicate?” I guess it is. I communicate with him through the songs. He answers me through the hug. It was two different ways to communicate, from two different people. Suddenly tears turns to romance. It turned to be one of my special nights with him.

I realize how much silent could be a perfect and romantic moment. It may sound cheesy for some. You may ask how come silent be a romantic moment? Aren’t we supposed to be talking with each other when you’re with your partner? Not always for me. As I said before it’s romantic. All you need in those times are the right person close to you, silent and right songs on the background. Or maybe some candles as the last touch. You can feel how much you feel comfortable with your partner. Snuggle together. mmmmm..You just enjoy each other company and travel your lovely times with them. Someday when you are in different places, countries or even continents, you and your partner can feel each other’s companionships through the songs that was shared just between you two. There are many romantic ways where you can create with your love one.

If you ask yourself when was the last time you experience a romantic moment, the answer may be “I don’t really remember when”. May i say, "Not good". It seems ages ago when a guy/girl left a note in a piece of paper and left it somewhere in your room that written “I miss you” on it or other romantic gesture that just made you fly with all your butterflies, which turns to memories that you can remember when you are away from each other. All i can say is spice it up a little bit.

But then I couldn’t help but wonder are romantic gestures still in the menu?

Kiss Communication

Today was a nice day. I had succeeded to have some fun outside for a while. Sabrina called and we decided to hang out at the Diemerplein (it is a place with all the shops in my little town). The place is small but at least it provides most of the things we need. We met at this family café (I might say).

I love this place. It has this perfect ice cappuccino (which they only sell it in the summer) and the friendly atmosphere. Well anyways, most people that come to this place is from the age box 40 to older. There are some younger people around but most of them came there with their family.

I was sitting there all by myself waiting for Sabrina. As I sat and look around I saw all these old people chatting and laughing with their friends. Every new people comes in they said hi to each other and give the Dutch kiss (which is the kiss on the cheeks 3 times). Then I couldn’t help but wonder what actually kisses represents?

There are many kinds of kisses and in many ways. It’s unbelievable the feelings that kisses could give. It could be a greeting when you meet friends or families. It could represent the feelings you care for your love one. It could be a passionate sign. It could be most things. It depends on the way we give it and to whom the kisses are given.

Even a kiss on your forehead, you could sense the caring from the person who kissed you. It is weird that you can’t fake those things. You just don’t feel the care if the person who kiss you didn’t kiss you with care. You can’t feel the love if the person who kissed you didn’t kiss you with love. Is there any rulebook on how you kiss?

Some people do need a way to show their love and care. For a person like me prove is needed. You may say that my life is like a court. I need a case, I need reasons and I need prove. I never said that words are not important. But surely we can fake what we feel and explain it in the opposite ways. But with your attitude you barely could fake it. Is there a way to fake the feelings behind a kiss?

Could we say that a kiss is another tool or medium to communicate?

There is this one kiss that I never forget. It was my first innocent kiss. Nothing ever tops that feeling (so far). It feels perfect and sweet like vanilla ice cream with caramel syrup and cherry on top, just the way I like it.

It was a lovely trip to the beach with my love ones; my family, a couple of friends and of course “the guy”. I was in Junior High. This trip turns out to become the trip that I can’t forget. Never thought a family trip could turn to my "first kiss trip". Not gonna tell you the detail coz it will be too long. All that i can say is, an extra help was needed by that time. And the help comes from a piece of candy. It was cute.

When it happened you feel like it wasn’t real. You opened your eyes and voilllllaaa!!! It wasn’t a dream. You just feel these butterflies tickling inside your belly. You smile the whole time that you just don’t believe it happen. You see the guy & you just smile. I saw him playing basketball & I smile. I bet if my mother saw me, she will ask me if i was ok. Every single eye contact you made with him you just know the click. We experience something that only both of us knew. A little secret just between us that no one in that place or even the whole world knew. It is special. I am happy.

Every person experiences a first kiss. There is always a first for everything. Every single first is a memory that a person couldn't erase. It will be filed neatly inside the drawers in your brain. It is sweet how a kiss can give you such a feeling that couldn’t be described.

But then I couldn’t stop myself to wonder will I get that kind of feelings again?

dead end or happily ever after?

It is a weird week. Many things happened and I am betting that many things are lining up for "their official premier". Today I feel empty and I don’t know why. Maybe there are too many things going on and it happened so fast, my brain just froze.

Yesterday was one of those weird days. Someone that makes me feel home was here. It was a lovely, fun and weird night. Never believe that his around. Never believe the day would come. It has been our discussion for 2 years that maybe someday he’ll come and be around in the same country or maybe the country near by. Unbelievably he did it.

At some point we sat and share stories, close by my room window. I was too excited till I didn’t realize the changes that happen to the weather outside. It was cloudy, but It’s still a little warm outside. It feels as summer breeze was saying goodbye. As the breeze pass us by, it took our stories with them to the wonderland.

Anyways, can’t give you the detail what stories we shared. But by the end I found something that I keep asking myself, when should we stop waiting?

At some point i do believe that people will wait for love. When someone has special feeling to "somebody else" and they are still waiting for his/her turn to come. Could that be one of the craziest and riskiest things to do? What happen if that "somebody else" is somebody else’s lover? Does that make any different, or is it still the same coz the theme is still waiting?Could that prove how much you care for that somebody?

People do intend to do outrages things when they are moved by something that is outstanding. By that sentence (which is confusing I might add) it means that a person could have the patient to wait even for years if, they really meant by what they feel. They just have the strength and believe. There must be a doubt somewhere inside there. But, it will be perfectly covered by all the imagination of what we want. Suddenly you just swallow all the pain and try to live with it. As days gone by you start to loose track on how long you’ve been waiting.

As the stars outside give me the company as I’m writing tonight I couldn’t help but wonder. Does waiting patiently bring you to a dead end or living happily ever after?

The L word..followed with O..and so on

I’ve been sitting here in my room for 3 days doing nothing. Well not really, but kind of. But anyways, I’ve been listening to some songs. Can't deny knowing the fact that most of the songs are made based on the word love. Even Rock songs have some songs telling love stories. Either it’s in a broken hearted situation or even the sweet memories between 2 people. Weird but it’s true.

There are songs telling how their love ones hurts their feeling. It could be that they don’t match. There are love songs telling us about waiting for someone to come.

Imagine someone is waiting for someone. Everybody knows that waiting is the least thing we want to do. But funny it is even people who hate to wait will wait for love. People could turn crazy, desperate and sick coz of love.

Love, Is it just a feeling inside that is so vague that you’re so lost in it?

1 word with a strong effect, 1 word with a vague meaning. Even oxford dictionary have at least 10 points in explaining what love means. Even though the 10th one is about tennis (But still it’s the meaning of the word love). i guess that explains how vague love could be. That 1 word could give many inspiration for all the people in the world. But then again that word could be an inspiration to kill someone or even start a war. Does love actually have those huge effects on this world? All I know it’s a dangerous word that maybe, we need a prescriptions for it. I ask my friends, how can you explain the word love. They just answer, “ you will know the answer when you’re in love”

Then I couldn’t help my self but wonder does anybody really know what love means?