cut of the X tag..could we?

I don’t want to be cynical in life but sometimes you just can’t help it. Anyways, today is kinda depressing. The weather is actually great outside. The sun is shinning and totally not a fake sun like in the wintertime. Anyways, some say that good day make a good mood. Apparently not for my last 2 fabulous weather days. I was being negative instead. My mood is kinda down. 2 bright warm days turns out to be a disaster.

While I feel bothered by the phrase I mention above (that I was hoping for good days), apparently it turned out the other way around. I started to think about “the virus” in a relationship. Don’t ask how did I get there. Anyways. Relationship is like a baby. It need to be pampered, it need to be taken care of. But it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be ill, It couldn’t be in pain once and a while, it doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be anything that will interfere. Yeah, the virus. One of the viruses in a relationship is the X. What do you do with an X?

I believe there are two kinds of X in the world of relationship, the X you make peace with and the X you make war with. The X you made peace with is the X that you could be friends with, either he/she is your X or your partner X. But then there are the bothering X the ones that made you or your partner insecure with their present.

Me personally, I try to be friends with X. Hey it couldn’t be deny that those guys did fill my days in their own periods of time (and my boyfriends Ex.’s did fill his days). The closer we are as friends with an X the better. By that phrase I mean I try to keep as friends and hope we could be good friends. We do know each other, it’s just more than a friend relationship doesn’t work, right? Our X and us just not the shoes that fits. Face it we couldn’t force a relationship that doesn’t work. That’s why we choose to break up and we should be friends.

Why is it so hard to get along with an X?

There should be a reason that we couldn’t get along with an X. The bothering X. The X that create an insecure vibe to the new comers. Couldn’t be denied that there is some annoying X, where they use their ticket as a friend in a wrong way. Well what can I say if feelings are still involve it could be bad for an X. Break up is hard. So what can we try to do? Trust me it’s a hard thing to do. It needs time and process. Be friends with an X and an X to be friends with the new girl/boy. Then I started to wonder does everybody get along with the X?

Well some of us do get along. But, there still some of us that don’t. As a grown up, we do have to learn to act and think like one. All I know is as a girlfriend of a man I don’t want to have a fight with an X and as an X I don’t want to be tag as an X friend instead by the end of the day. All of that is just a theory of course. Well it worked with me so far in practice even though it is hard to gain trust Even though I tried to make peace as a friend or friends with an X, sometime miss understanding do take place. With the ups and downs in trying to be a friend with an X, I still wonder, could we really make peace with an X?

It will depend of what kind of X we made us to be by the end of the day. As I said I am an X myself. But as an X I do try to open my eyes and see. If I was the girl next to that guy what I don’t want an X to do? We as an X do have a right to be acknowledged as a friend. There are no rights to erase an X that try to be friends. But of course we as an X should have an attitude with boundaries (remember don’t cross the line). As an X to my X-boyfriends, I just try to put a mirror in front of me and try not to be a threat to my X-boyfriends relationship with the new girl. Basically if we act not threatening I don’t think any one will feel threatened with our present. So to the X out there, do act with boundaries, act like real friends should do. It doesn’t mean if you are an X you have an extra rights from friends limit and turn yourself into foe. Nothing is impossible if we try to do something right. Try to cut the X tag? Could you?

Heart in Ayam Kecap

“My coffee” and his weird craving. He craved for my own recipe of what we called “Ayam Kecap”. I am not a good chef. I use the real name of the cuisine and I will make it in my own ways. What did I actually do? I just made it by predicting what ingredients it should be in it and hope it taste good. Surprisingly, My coffee loves it. Even worst, there was always time when there are guests staying at my place. But, again I haven’t done any grocery shopping. So what I do is, I open my fridge; see what I have in stock. Figure something out and create something that I guess my guests could enjoy (at least I hope they did..hi hi). Bottom line, I create foods without names. If you ask me again what’s in it, I will answer I do not know all I know it wont kill you. But, I do love cooking even though I never follow any recipe. I love to stay in the kitchen and just mix something (sometimes burn something). I didn’t say I am a pro, did I.

Once I live with my friends; Farrah and Teri. One night, Farrah wanted to cook for us dinner. She only fried the frozen chicken burger and we plan to eat it with rice. She did burn the chicken, but we had a laugh. We appreciate her heart with it and still have that moment as a giggle for once and a while until now. I started to wonder, so what made that night fun? What made the food still taste good even though it was burned kinda bad?

Maybe the love of friendship that we shared while we enjoy that food made the food taste more delicious and made us miss the moment even more. Maybe the heart that my friend give unconsciously while she made it, made us appreciate the meal we had that night. I guess that’s where good memories come from.

Anyways talking about making something with heart, I believe that everything you make will be wonderful if you give your love or I should say a little bit of heart in it. For example, if you have an assignment to draw something. You hate drawing. But then again, you have to. If you made the drawing with a little bit of heart, automatically you will spend more time on it. Of course the people who made with a will to do it, will spent more time in their job as well. But, what I’m trying to say is if you made it with heart people will see the result differently. They will feel your passion in it and that will make them appreciate your creation even more. Not just a creation from a hard worker. Not just a drawing that was made just because you have to. If you did something with love, I guess everybody will appreciate it. What is my real point you may ask?

My point is, we need to have the passion to do things. We need the will and sincere feelings in process. We need a little bit of heart as part of it. Love could be transferred through anything. It could be sent through food, through eye contact, through art, through every single thing. No wonder everyone love their mothers home baked cookies. Maybe we consume the love that it was given as the food was created. Like I always said love goes two ways, if people receive your love, believe me it will return to you in many ways, sooner or later. Nothing to loose in trying and put a little heart in everything. By the end of the day, when you know someone love what you made then you know you receive some of the love you sent out. There is enough amount of love in the world. You wouldn’t ran out of it if you share it in life. So, as a closure I’ll say, “Ayam Kecap, anyone?”