I don’t want to be cynical in life but sometimes you just can’t help it. Anyways, today is kinda depressing. The weather is actually great outside. The sun is shinning and totally not a fake sun like in the wintertime. Anyways, some say that good day make a good mood. Apparently not for my last 2 fabulous weather days. I was being negative instead. My mood is kinda down. 2 bright warm days turns out to be a disaster.
While I feel bothered by the phrase I mention above (that I was hoping for good days), apparently it turned out the other way around. I started to think about “the virus” in a relationship. Don’t ask how did I get there. Anyways. Relationship is like a baby. It need to be pampered, it need to be taken care of. But it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be ill, It couldn’t be in pain once and a while, it doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be anything that will interfere. Yeah, the virus. One of the viruses in a relationship is the X. What do you do with an X?
I believe there are two kinds of X in the world of relationship, the X you make peace with and the X you make war with. The X you made peace with is the X that you could be friends with, either he/she is your X or your partner X. But then there are the bothering X the ones that made you or your partner insecure with their present.
Me personally, I try to be friends with X. Hey it couldn’t be deny that those guys did fill my days in their own periods of time (and my boyfriends Ex.’s did fill his days). The closer we are as friends with an X the better. By that phrase I mean I try to keep as friends and hope we could be good friends. We do know each other, it’s just more than a friend relationship doesn’t work, right? Our X and us just not the shoes that fits. Face it we couldn’t force a relationship that doesn’t work. That’s why we choose to break up and we should be friends.
Why is it so hard to get along with an X?
There should be a reason that we couldn’t get along with an X. The bothering X. The X that create an insecure vibe to the new comers. Couldn’t be denied that there is some annoying X, where they use their ticket as a friend in a wrong way. Well what can I say if feelings are still involve it could be bad for an X. Break up is hard. So what can we try to do? Trust me it’s a hard thing to do. It needs time and process. Be friends with an X and an X to be friends with the new girl/boy. Then I started to wonder does everybody get along with the X?
Well some of us do get along. But, there still some of us that don’t. As a grown up, we do have to learn to act and think like one. All I know is as a girlfriend of a man I don’t want to have a fight with an X and as an X I don’t want to be tag as an X friend instead by the end of the day. All of that is just a theory of course. Well it worked with me so far in practice even though it is hard to gain trust Even though I tried to make peace as a friend or friends with an X, sometime miss understanding do take place. With the ups and downs in trying to be a friend with an X, I still wonder, could we really make peace with an X?
It will depend of what kind of X we made us to be by the end of the day. As I said I am an X myself. But as an X I do try to open my eyes and see. If I was the girl next to that guy what I don’t want an X to do? We as an X do have a right to be acknowledged as a friend. There are no rights to erase an X that try to be friends. But of course we as an X should have an attitude with boundaries (remember don’t cross the line). As an X to my X-boyfriends, I just try to put a mirror in front of me and try not to be a threat to my X-boyfriends relationship with the new girl. Basically if we act not threatening I don’t think any one will feel threatened with our present. So to the X out there, do act with boundaries, act like real friends should do. It doesn’t mean if you are an X you have an extra rights from friends limit and turn yourself into foe. Nothing is impossible if we try to do something right. Try to cut the X tag? Could you?
