Not About The Best but The Right!

I read a phrase; you have to learn to love yourself before you can learn to love someone else. By loving your own self you will search for someone who could treat you just right coz you know who you are and you know how you want to be treated, you just know what you need. Do you agree?

The greatest loves for me are; the love of god to us, the love between you and the people you called family, and there is two other loves that matters for me: 1. is the love that you have for yourself 2. is the love that you get from someone else, your someone special.

But did I learn to love myself before I meet my Mr. Right? I am not that sure.

You may ask your self these questions below: Who is my “someone special”? When will I meet him/her? I ask those questions to myself as well. I was searching for the best guy. Then I realize that I will meet a guy and I will search in the market again for someone that is better. The search for “the best guy” will take forever. I learn to know myself. Afterwards I know, I want the right guy and not the best. I want a guy that "click" with me not just the best in the market. The search for the right one is a surprise. The right man is the man who could flip you, just in a blink of an eye. Do Mr./Mrs. Right really exist?

My coffee and I were In a relationship long time ago. It was on our junior high time. We broke up. But then we turned out to be one of close friends for one another. Inside our close friend relationship, we never thought that a deeper love was hidden and growing. After the first break up and knowing each other more as close friends, we realize we were blind. We didn’t realize that we are two different piece of puzzle. We are two pieces that fits. Surprisingly, we have been in 1 same box for so long.

I wish what’s best for me. If he is the best one for me, then let it be. If it’s not then let me be strong to walk and move on. And all I do after is to keep on wishing, trying, patient and walk slow as I try to read my signs, as I learn to be aware of my instinct. I believe everything has their own times and reasons. 2007 begin, we bind our relationship again. And this time we hope and try to keep it for forever.

He is the man that could talk to me in the right way. He could calm me in my worst days. He is a gentleman. You might say in the beginning of a relationship you could only see the beautiful part of it. After a while the flaws will come to the surface. Well that’s true. I said that in one of my previous blogs as well. You may ask, then what is so special about this one?

It is a pleasure to look at him while he is sharing all his passion. He have a different glare in his eyes when he is talking about photography, he have a different glare when he is playing the guitar, he have a different glare when he is talking about planes and he have different glare when he talks about dream and life. He has a special glare when he looks deep into my eyes. If you are I, you will feel the warmth. You just can feel the care. You can see that he cuts deep into you. He makes me stumble when he looks at my eyes. It just shakes me to the core and made me all weak.

He is a man that I adore. He have the will, he have a vision. He is the guy that sees his future and tries to map his next step as he walk through life. He is an open minded man. It’s just beautiful how he can send messages through his eyes. It’s always fun when we communicate with our eyes. He is my gentle and fun guy. Well anyways, yesterday I wrote a blog about how my relationship with “my coffee”. Today I’m introducing to you “my coffee”. I’m sharing with you the ingredients inside him.

He love airplanes, he love photography and he love movies. He love “Calvin and Hobbes”, he love guitar and he love the band called “The Cake”and "Weezer". He likes to read. He love tequila, he is cute when his drunk. He loves to drink coffee when he wake up. He love his family. He love his pets, and he went “nuts” when he sees dogs and cats. He loves the color green, and Intermilan is his soccer team. He has a special way to stand when he brushes his teeth (I found this one so cute). He likes rum raisin ice cream. He is not that much of a fan for tuna. But actually he’s flexible when it comes to food. He turns silent when his hungry (he looks so funny). He is not a fan of warm weather. He prefer the weather when it’s cold or chilly. He keeps his feet out of the blanket while he sleeps even it’s a cold night. He love to help me in the kitchen when he is around.

He find it hard to say “no”. He is a "silent" guy if you meet him for the first time. He will silently learn about you as you talk. He has a special way when he looks at people. He is sensitive and thoughtful. He is patient and understanding. He is not that open till he trusted you. You got to find a right way just to approach and made him to say what is/are on his mind. he is a great listener and a problem solver. He know how to send his opinion. He is wise and charming. he has taste and he has his own style. He has his own scent and sweet lovely smile. He is smart and has a high curiosity. I love to ask questions and discuss complicated things with him. By end of the day we share more than we hope for. We could discuss from politics to religion, from life happiness to problems, from jokes to serious things. We could discuss about dreams to many things. We could go on and on and keep exchanging opinion. We could go on for the whole day. He could comfort me even I’m miles away, he could make me smile even if he is in the other country. There are still many things about him I couldn’t list it all. He is everything. And the most important thing is what he are is not so different as I am. It's weird but it's true.

Well I don’t mind how you think. Just wanted to share why the “colorful glare coffee” (I have been waiting for so long) is so special. It’s just lovely when you are in a relationship that you know he/she love you as you are. By the end, the right one will turn into the best eventually.

After I write so many, I started to wonder, Do we really need to learn to love ourself to find someone that is right? Will we be introduce to the word LOVE after you have learned to love yourself?

My Long Distance Coffee..

When I woke up today I had this weird thought and it shocked me. I am in a relationship with someone that I patiently wait to come. Yes everybody! I am proudly to announce that I am leaving the store and enjoying my coffee, for I am done waiting. I finish my 1st journey book and I’m starting a new one. I got what I want. My coffee! He is my special someone that I will enjoy as I strut proudly back in the journey of life. He is my sweet company. He is the mixture of every single thing. Not so sweet, not so bitter, not so creamy and not so hot neither cold. He is the mixture of right or I should say Mr. Right. He could make me laugh, he could make me cry, and he could say the right things when things went wrong.

I started to realize another thing; we start this relationship by having a long distance relationship. We are not too far from each other. Even in the world map, the countries we are living in are next to each other. But, it couldn’t be denied that we are in different countries. It’s fine for me and I hope it goes the same way for him. I believe, it makes us appreciate more on the times we have, times when we get the chance to be together to cure all the misery that is famously known as “missing each other”. We try to create as lovely time as we could, so that those memories could be a company when we are far away from each other. I heard people told me long distance relationship barely work. I started to wonder, is that phrase true?

I try to think harder is it true that people avoid misty woods and surrender easily to promising island instead? Are most people tired of trying also believing and give it up to faith instead? Do people prefer something on the recipe book instead of making their own invented meal from scratch? Do people prefer something seen by their eyes than taking risk to search something that is invisible for a while and it's actually right in front of their eyes? Do people prefer things with guarantee? Well there are many things should be questioned about people in the world. It is all depends on the principles that they hold.

Somehow most people that I know, they are more cynical than they used to be. I could say, most of the time they barely remember the words hope and believe. They ran away from things that are to vague. They went for things that they think are safe. But then, their heart actually prefer the adventure for something that is worthier. Is it true we better play it safe than taking extra risks?

Well I couldn’t say that is wrong. It may be a right thing to do for other department in life. But, in love life and friendship, I guess those theory and practice should not be done in most things. Life it needs sacrifice.

You can throw questions such as; do you really trust your partner; aren’t you scared that he/she will cheat on you? Don’t you ever feel afraid that he/she will meet someone else that is better than you? Well imply that to yourself and think. Don’t you think that your partner have the same fear in their minds? SO now what? The answer is honesty, trust and try to do the right thing. You have to trust your partner, be honest to what you think and try to keep yourself in track. For example, you feel he/she is cheating. Don’t judge that he/she is doing all the cheating. But, let them know what you are thinking, if you are scared that they are, then let them know.If, you are listening to your partner that they are scared that we are cheating, don’t feel judge by them but comfort them. If you are cheating, then realize it before it's too late, be honest and ask for apology. Some say once a cheater then they always are a cheater. The cheater tag could be cut off. It’s all about the click. You can measure it with feelings and thinking rationally. Communicate well. It’s a 2 way street. It has to be in balance. Okay, I guess I’m spinning here, I’m repeating myself and making you confuse so I’ll break it down for you in a conclusion. Would long distance relationship work?

There is a slight difference between a long distance and close relationship (I might call). But, the bottom line is both of the relationship could work perfectly. Relationship is part of life. They have the same basic theory and that is do things right. Communicate right. If you trust him/her then trust them right. If you don't trust him/her then tell them why you don't and try to trust them. If something bad happened, give them another chance don’t give up on it. If you really care you'll remind him/her. If you fail at work you’ll hope for a second chance and you hope your co-workers and boss will trust you again. It is the same in a relationship with your love ones. They or you may slip and made some mistakes. We are neither angel nor babies that are pure and clean. We are covered with scar, with flaws. To be alive is to learn. Learn to forgive then learn to trust again. If the mistake keeps repeating then it’s your rights to make the call either to end or be understanding and live with it.

I believe my relationship to work. Why not? There is no reason not to. In life we have to push forwards not standing still, we have to learn to stand up when we fall. We have to learn to stand tall as high as we could without forgetting to keep our feet on the ground. If you want to see life from one side, life is difficult at the present when you are facing the problems. And from the other side life is simple, how difficult could it be, coz obviously we will get through. As long I appreciate what I have with him, as long I remember what I went through to reach him, and what is my reasons, my feelings, and consideration till I decide to be in a relationship with him. These feelings and thinking goes for him as well. As long we are in the same page and try to make the best of it, then why not? we care and we hold each other hands. We click! I could say distance should not be a problem. Everything happens for a reason. It’s how we handle the distance that’s matter. The way we communicate that effects. How we spend our times together (in the best way that we could) cover the times when we are apart and it will decide. If we try to do things right what worst could happen. I know we will get through it perfectly. Just him and me.

Goodbye 2006 Welcome 2007!

Imagine you are sitting in a dark room and feel so lonely that it couldn’t turn even worst than that. Breakdown strikes that you don’t even know what to do. All you have been doing is sitting in your small couch that you put close to the window for such an event. You were hoping and wishing that someone will sneak to your room and cover your eyes. Having such a surprise, knowing that suddenly that you are not alone and you got the company that you have been hoping for through your holiday, through your lonely days.

That’s what I got, what I feel in the last days before New Years Eve strikes. Unbelievable my hope came true in the last minute. All the balls that juggles up and down most of my time, the rollercoaster ride I have been taking, the breakdown, the spirit to stand, the force you gave your self that you could be there to where you are hoping yourself will be, all the things I've been through the whole year, came a little bit to order. It feels amazing. In a way it was a sad day but I tried to see it through the bright side. There are always bad things inside a good.

Bottom line I have someone that I expected here with me through one of the lovely day in the beginning of the year. There might be something sad happened, but I feel thankful that he was here on that day. When the year change, he was standing next to me and smiled as the fireworks colored the dark rainy sky of Amsterdam. It was lovely. It couldn’t be even worst and better than that in the same time. The rain couldn’t be heavier than that, since I’m soak from head to toe. I know I didn’t spend my new years eve with all of my family, all my lovely friends. But, the happiness that I have is the closes from what I expected in spending my new years eve. I got some of my lovely friends and my special someone, even one of my lovely brother next to me, shared the moment in one of my beautiful city that I could feel home. It’s a little bit of everything in my life. That is more than I can expect. All the cheering, all the love was mixed in the air and made its own color in the sky. All the feeling resolved my own cocktail inside my belly. It gave me all the butterflies. It was lovely.

I do hope all the people in the world had a little bit of something special in starting the New Year. I do hope every single person in the world at least enjoyed the change of the year with one of his or her love ones. Or even though they might not, hope they are companied by the lovely memories of 2006 and beautiful hope from 2007. So to close this blog, I wave goodbye 2006 and spread my hands to welcome 2007!