Friday, August 20, 2010

Change..

I haven’t been writing for ages. Yes ages. I have been reading my last posts and I notice the changes on how I write and how I see things in life. I was chatting with an old friend of mine days ago. I did notice the changes on how we talk, the topics that we talk about and I notice the distance that we have but we kept on talking. I talked with my mother and brother and again I notice the changes. Yes, changes. So here I am writing and trying to understand changes.

We all know that changes occur in life. We change, the world change everything changes. It may happen in a second, it may happen in a day or two or even in a year of time. But we all notice that things could change. But one thing I also know is some of us deny changes to happen and one of them will be me. That my dear friends made me wonder why do we change? Could we actually accept changes? How far could we live with changes? Did I change?

Yes, we all change. I was watching a movie the other night and it also talk about changes. And I notice from that particular movie that changes were caused by growing up, us growing up and having life of our own. We built our career; we try to build our love life while in the same time trying to hold on to what we got from the past. As we all try to build our life we all change. At least that’s what I think why we all change. We adapt to our new state of mind, our new life and our new habit. We all turn more complicated than we used to. Don’t we all agree that our life now is so much more complicated than our life back in high school?

Yes, we grew. Our body grows and we buy new cloths that fit. So we change our style and we change our size. Adapting to what our body made us do is way more easier and more logical of course, than adapting to our mind and heart which, sometime they have their own fights inside our body like we have been growing with someone else inside us that kept and keep on fighting every time they can. But that is just what are on the table my friends. We could all simplify on how we think. We grew and we all change. But then again I started to wonder how far could we live with changes? How far is it ok for us to change?

Life may have no limits they say. People even believe climb the highest mountain even now people even reach the moon and even reach the furthest planet we ever known. Well hello Pluto. But as we reach Pluto a question will pop is there someone or something live there? Can we human actually live there? No one knows yet. But in my opinion life should have a limit. There is a limit on how far could we change and should change. We all have our own capacity right? Even a tank will over flow with water if we keep on filling it up. Should we allow our self-being to change? The answer is of course. But how far could we handle the changes? How far are we willing to let us change?

We are selfish creatures. We will give our self the green light to climb the highest mountain, to fly and have the privileged to land on the moon. How many mountains should we climb until we stop. Different Mountain gave us different changes towards a different experience, a different life story and result a different us. Should we be scared of it? Maybe we should be scared of the changes we made towards our self. But the again we are selfish creature. As we change I started to wonder how many of us even care how many people we hurt, how many people do we actually neglected as we change? Are we that selfish?

As people made changes we notice and we feel we have to catch up. As we are running towards the same cliff, we forgot that we also change and we torture others as we it happened. This is another chain in life that we made. Could we bound our self from the changing ?

Here I am going around and around with my own thoughts. Bad old habit I guess. Trying to balance my thoughts and heart but yeah sometime I do wonder will it ever meet in an agreements. And the answer is probably never. But can I deny my changes? Should I reject all the changes that are happening around me?

After my doodle above and reading it over and over again this is what I got. I’m one of those who reject changes. I got to admit that I am one of those who hate the changes that have been happening around me and to me. As the world change I adapt as someone else and as I change the world changes with me it is hard to keep up and be stable. Everything seems to move so fast. But then again I got to have a peace of mind at some point and that will achieved probably by learning to accept changes instead of asking why. What we all need to remember is that the only things that I know will stop us from uncontrollable changes are our love ones. We just have to open our minds and heart to notice that we have people who are close enough and have the impact on any changes that we made. Changes may be scary for us. And of course we all are allowed to be scared. But one thing I will always keep in mind is to make sure that I don’t hurt the ones that I love and hopefully love me back to even care. Changing in a wiser way. Well at least that is I. That is who I am. Besides in each changes we made we still have the real us inside. There must be some part of us that is still and will always be the same. But the again I started to wonder, as I care enough to change with dignity and care towards the one I claim to love, will they ever care enough to change with a care and love towards me?

Now I know that what scares me the most and that is what I have hated the most, changes from the ones that I love. Yes, the fear that I have to face, but then again the question remains, will they? I wish they will, but none have proved so.